Lesson To Be Learned
1. My value does not decrease based upon someones inability to see my worth…
2. If it doesn't encourage or support me, inspire or engage me, develop and challenge me… get rid of it. Being unhappy is part of life; staying that way is a choice…
3. "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis
4. Dear God, if today I lose my hope please remind me that your PLANS are bigger than my dreams…
5. Until God opens the next door, praise HIM in the hallway…
Being Thankful
These are the five most important lessons that I need to learn for my life. My God is bigger than any problem I could possibly face or any part of my past that continues to hurt me. I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for. I have my family that I know would do anything for me; they have continually proved this over and over agin. I have a man in my life that is probably the sweetest thing God ever created; he continually treats me like a princess and I love him dearly. I have so many doctors that are trying to help me get well. I have new friends and old friends that help keep me going when I think I have nothing left to give. I have my sweet, sweet Macy that cuddles me even more when she knows that I'm not feeling well.
Goals For November
1. Make and Stick to a Budget. bahahaha. Okay, so we all know that Sara has tried to do a budget before… FAILED MISERABLY. There was no hiding it. Old Navy deciding that I needed a new wardrobe. That generous police officer that decided I needed to pay the City of Tulsa $411. Macy's pet insurance (which I assure you is absolutely necessary seeing as her medical bills match mine most months) was due to renew. Chipotle's obvious schemes used to get me specifically to eat there twice a week. So, this time I will try to make a budget that is completely easy to attend to and follow it. Or at least try my hardest.
2. Follow my Agenda. I specifically bought a new agenda thinking that it would motivate me to write appointments in and have a way to follow it… whoops (I missed two doctor appointments today… sorry Dr. B and Dr. V!) Living my life relying on my cell phone calendar is probably not the most responsible thing I could be doing. I am 24 it is time to pull up my big girl panties and do what I need to do.
3. Change my Last Name. Okay so this is something that I have been thinking about for the past 10 years. For personal reasons I will not discuss why this needs to be done, but trust me it does. I am changing it to my Poppy's last name. He is the one man in my life that has always been there for me and has never let me down. I am a Sturgeon and I always have been. I have the papers to start the process… I just need to start filling out that paperwork and take it down to the courthouse to file. (YAY!). Oh, and don't get me started on the whole "well you'll be getting married soon why change it"… I will hurt you.
4. Be more proactive in my team. I have some very serious mental health issues and my team is the group of people that is trying to help me. This includes an Intensive Outpatient Group, Therapist, Psychiatrist, my Mom, and Me. I am supposed to be the leader of my team. I am slowly learning that I am not my illness, but it has been a daily struggle to even get out of bed some days. Some days the issues I am dealing with are too difficult to face. I need to show up, suit up, and saddle up. I am trying. I am doing the best I can with what I have. I need to take my medicine, I need to show up to therapy, and I need to talk and listen more.
5. Make Better Choices for My Life. I graduated college almost 2 years ago… I'm sure the ramen noodle diet is probably not going to be appropriate much longer. I am going back to college at NSU-BA for another Bachelors degree… this time in Elementary Education. I can't wait. (I will always bleed crimson and cream! #proudalumni #boomersooner). I am thinking about starting some light yoga that won't put too much pressure on my arm. Believe it or not, I am actually thinking about voluntarily going back to physical therapy for my arm (I know I'm crazy right). I need to take Macy on more walks. She absolutely loved walking on Riverside with Karissa and her dog Max- she even made it the whole 5 miles… until the very end when she just could not walk anymore and lied down on the ground and refused to move. She can't help it… But, I love every ounce of that puppy!
